Perspective

God taught me some important lessons on perspective earlier this week. My conclusions might seem suspect to some who know me but let me see if I can explain. A few weeks ago, I decided to begin body building. Yes, I know….interesting sport to take up at my age. But I love weight lifting thanks to a friend of mine. It is a tough sport. More about that later… Needless to say, I have received interesting feedback from friends and family. The other day, three different people used the word superficial in describing the sport. Another friend spoke to me about my goal, mentioning that he had done it and gotten very sick… Doubt, in a huge way, began to creep in. What was I doing? Really?

I woke up the next morning with my head spinning. I felt lost. So I got on Facebook (oh, yeah, cause that is where we find all our answers)…. A New Life friend had shared a wonderful Kari Jobe video (You are for Me) on his profile. God struck me with this….then He and I spent a great deal of time together. What I heard from Him wasn’t “Stop” but “Watch! Don’t miss what I am doing.” “Don’t sacrifice this moment for your goals and dreams.” For whatever reason, this lesson has been a repeated one over the years. I look to the future, missing the present. I heard Him whisper the word….”perspective….”

Superficial…I think as a rule, people who really know me would never use that word to describe me. But the word stuck in my mind and in my heart. If superficial is a curtain that we wrap around ourselves to keep the world out, where do we cross the line? I put on my $9.00 shirt (great deal at J.C. Penney’s!) and thought to some that would be completely out of reach…for some…they would no more shop clearance at JCP than the man on the moon. Next, as I was putting on my makeup I thought about how to many people, even that act would seem superficial. My mascara cost me almost three times what the aforementioned shirt cost. It was a splurge . My mind wandered to think of what someone who lived on the street would think of that. It occurred to me that superficial lives on a continuum that depends on who you are and what you believe.

Our lives can be so strange….Facebook, LinkedIn, blogging, marketing, Starbucks, bootcamps, training…

Enter Kim.

I went to use the restroom at my office. It was lunch time  and I was making a quick trip (I drink 4-6 quarts of water each day, this is a regular occurrence). The smell was the first thing to hit me…body odor worse than anything I had ever smelled at the gym. She stood there with water running over her hands. It took a moment for everything to register. This is obviously someone who has nothing. I looked down to see her gym bag. It held the sum total of her life and belongings. An inward battle began. I could just turn around and go back to my office, eat and come back later. Ok, so that was a stupid thought. Then I considered just walking out after using the restroom (we have a sink in our office where I could wash my hands). Again…silly. So as I was washing my hands I began making small talk…nice break in the weather…yes, I can’t believe Labor Day has come and gone…yes, I went to the balloon classic for the first time this year………. It felt so small….so insufficient.

So I asked her….Is there anything you need? She began to cry. I won’t go into details, but this woman who is one week younger than I am, has lived a very, very difficult life. I stood in the bathroom, listening for an hour, while she laid out her life before me. She was there hoping to talk to someone at Logos Counseling. After an hour, I gave her some money, told her I would pray for her and went back to my office….undone. I then went to Starbucks with my girlfriend and tried to talk it out…perspective, right?

When we got back, Kim was still there. She ended up in our office suite lobby. She wanted to make a call. She then waited for two hours for a ride to come and get her. She sat there…invisible. The emotional and mental effort that it would take to help one person seemed overwhelming. She had no place to stay. But she has been living on the streets for a long time. No resource that we mentioned was one she was unfamiliar with…

I went home…had boot camp to do… perspective. God’s grace. Suddenly, my life, my whole life, seemed superficial. God whispered….”No, it’s not…. It belongs to me” Perspective… so yes I went to boot camp, was surrounded by people that I adore…told them the story of Kim.

There is no happy ending here. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us. My life touched Kim’s life for a heartbeat. I did what I could. I watched and saw people that I work with and respect, walk past her, not seeing her. I watched her do everything possible to remain invisible. Today, Kim is still on the streets. I am still body building, drinking Starbucks coffee, working, shopping…

Watching!