So here is a quick update to my last story...
When I left the office that day, Kim was still there. Her 'ride' was not really prepared to take her anywhere but she brought her some supplies. Luckily, Sandy, one of my coworkers stepped into the story. She took Kim to a hotel and checked her in for the night. The woman who had showed up didn't exit the story. She just needed more info and time. Come to find out, she is someone I know from Gold's Gym...small world. We believe that Kim has a mental illness of sorts. It is hard to get her to accept the help she really needs but we will see. Who knows? maybe there will be a happier ending to this story after all...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Perspective
God taught me some important lessons on perspective earlier this week. My conclusions might seem suspect to some who know me but let me see if I can explain. A few weeks ago, I decided to begin body building. Yes, I know….interesting sport to take up at my age. But I love weight lifting thanks to a friend of mine. It is a tough sport. More about that later… Needless to say, I have received interesting feedback from friends and family. The other day, three different people used the word superficial in describing the sport. Another friend spoke to me about my goal, mentioning that he had done it and gotten very sick… Doubt, in a huge way, began to creep in. What was I doing? Really?
I woke up the next morning with my head spinning. I felt lost. So I got on Facebook (oh, yeah, cause that is where we find all our answers)…. A New Life friend had shared a wonderful Kari Jobe video (You are for Me) on his profile. God struck me with this….then He and I spent a great deal of time together. What I heard from Him wasn’t “Stop” but “Watch! Don’t miss what I am doing.” “Don’t sacrifice this moment for your goals and dreams.” For whatever reason, this lesson has been a repeated one over the years. I look to the future, missing the present. I heard Him whisper the word….”perspective….”
Superficial…I think as a rule, people who really know me would never use that word to describe me. But the word stuck in my mind and in my heart. If superficial is a curtain that we wrap around ourselves to keep the world out, where do we cross the line? I put on my $9.00 shirt (great deal at J.C. Penney’s!) and thought to some that would be completely out of reach…for some…they would no more shop clearance at JCP than the man on the moon. Next, as I was putting on my makeup I thought about how to many people, even that act would seem superficial. My mascara cost me almost three times what the aforementioned shirt cost. It was a splurge . My mind wandered to think of what someone who lived on the street would think of that. It occurred to me that superficial lives on a continuum that depends on who you are and what you believe.
Our lives can be so strange….Facebook, LinkedIn, blogging, marketing, Starbucks, bootcamps, training…
Enter Kim.
I went to use the restroom at my office. It was lunch time and I was making a quick trip (I drink 4-6 quarts of water each day, this is a regular occurrence). The smell was the first thing to hit me…body odor worse than anything I had ever smelled at the gym. She stood there with water running over her hands. It took a moment for everything to register. This is obviously someone who has nothing. I looked down to see her gym bag. It held the sum total of her life and belongings. An inward battle began. I could just turn around and go back to my office, eat and come back later. Ok, so that was a stupid thought. Then I considered just walking out after using the restroom (we have a sink in our office where I could wash my hands). Again…silly. So as I was washing my hands I began making small talk…nice break in the weather…yes, I can’t believe Labor Day has come and gone…yes, I went to the balloon classic for the first time this year………. It felt so small….so insufficient.
So I asked her….Is there anything you need? She began to cry. I won’t go into details, but this woman who is one week younger than I am, has lived a very, very difficult life. I stood in the bathroom, listening for an hour, while she laid out her life before me. She was there hoping to talk to someone at Logos Counseling. After an hour, I gave her some money, told her I would pray for her and went back to my office….undone. I then went to Starbucks with my girlfriend and tried to talk it out…perspective, right?
When we got back, Kim was still there. She ended up in our office suite lobby. She wanted to make a call. She then waited for two hours for a ride to come and get her. She sat there…invisible. The emotional and mental effort that it would take to help one person seemed overwhelming. She had no place to stay. But she has been living on the streets for a long time. No resource that we mentioned was one she was unfamiliar with…
I went home…had boot camp to do… perspective. God’s grace. Suddenly, my life, my whole life, seemed superficial. God whispered….”No, it’s not…. It belongs to me” Perspective… so yes I went to boot camp, was surrounded by people that I adore…told them the story of Kim.
There is no happy ending here. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us. My life touched Kim’s life for a heartbeat. I did what I could. I watched and saw people that I work with and respect, walk past her, not seeing her. I watched her do everything possible to remain invisible. Today, Kim is still on the streets. I am still body building, drinking Starbucks coffee, working, shopping…
Watching!
I woke up the next morning with my head spinning. I felt lost. So I got on Facebook (oh, yeah, cause that is where we find all our answers)…. A New Life friend had shared a wonderful Kari Jobe video (You are for Me) on his profile. God struck me with this….then He and I spent a great deal of time together. What I heard from Him wasn’t “Stop” but “Watch! Don’t miss what I am doing.” “Don’t sacrifice this moment for your goals and dreams.” For whatever reason, this lesson has been a repeated one over the years. I look to the future, missing the present. I heard Him whisper the word….”perspective….”
Superficial…I think as a rule, people who really know me would never use that word to describe me. But the word stuck in my mind and in my heart. If superficial is a curtain that we wrap around ourselves to keep the world out, where do we cross the line? I put on my $9.00 shirt (great deal at J.C. Penney’s!) and thought to some that would be completely out of reach…for some…they would no more shop clearance at JCP than the man on the moon. Next, as I was putting on my makeup I thought about how to many people, even that act would seem superficial. My mascara cost me almost three times what the aforementioned shirt cost. It was a splurge . My mind wandered to think of what someone who lived on the street would think of that. It occurred to me that superficial lives on a continuum that depends on who you are and what you believe.
Our lives can be so strange….Facebook, LinkedIn, blogging, marketing, Starbucks, bootcamps, training…
Enter Kim.
I went to use the restroom at my office. It was lunch time and I was making a quick trip (I drink 4-6 quarts of water each day, this is a regular occurrence). The smell was the first thing to hit me…body odor worse than anything I had ever smelled at the gym. She stood there with water running over her hands. It took a moment for everything to register. This is obviously someone who has nothing. I looked down to see her gym bag. It held the sum total of her life and belongings. An inward battle began. I could just turn around and go back to my office, eat and come back later. Ok, so that was a stupid thought. Then I considered just walking out after using the restroom (we have a sink in our office where I could wash my hands). Again…silly. So as I was washing my hands I began making small talk…nice break in the weather…yes, I can’t believe Labor Day has come and gone…yes, I went to the balloon classic for the first time this year………. It felt so small….so insufficient.
So I asked her….Is there anything you need? She began to cry. I won’t go into details, but this woman who is one week younger than I am, has lived a very, very difficult life. I stood in the bathroom, listening for an hour, while she laid out her life before me. She was there hoping to talk to someone at Logos Counseling. After an hour, I gave her some money, told her I would pray for her and went back to my office….undone. I then went to Starbucks with my girlfriend and tried to talk it out…perspective, right?
When we got back, Kim was still there. She ended up in our office suite lobby. She wanted to make a call. She then waited for two hours for a ride to come and get her. She sat there…invisible. The emotional and mental effort that it would take to help one person seemed overwhelming. She had no place to stay. But she has been living on the streets for a long time. No resource that we mentioned was one she was unfamiliar with…
I went home…had boot camp to do… perspective. God’s grace. Suddenly, my life, my whole life, seemed superficial. God whispered….”No, it’s not…. It belongs to me” Perspective… so yes I went to boot camp, was surrounded by people that I adore…told them the story of Kim.
There is no happy ending here. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us. My life touched Kim’s life for a heartbeat. I did what I could. I watched and saw people that I work with and respect, walk past her, not seeing her. I watched her do everything possible to remain invisible. Today, Kim is still on the streets. I am still body building, drinking Starbucks coffee, working, shopping…
Watching!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Food
Food.
”Please sir, I want some more.” from Dickens’ Oliver Twist. I can hear the music now…Food! Glorious food! from the musical version, Oliver. But the biggest challenge in losing weight or preparing for a competition is nutrition. I wish it wasn’t. I would much rather live in the fantasy that I can do a few hours a week in the gym and then eat whatever I want. The truth is, most of our fitness issues are nutritionally related. This is not to say that American’s shouldn’t get exercise, but the excuse of…”well, I am overweight because I don’t have time to work out” is pretty lame. Because I love the gym and I love to hike and do active things, I think that some people would attribute my weight loss and fitness to that. It is a big part of my life but honestly my nutrition or diet or meal plan (whatever you want to call it) is the biggest tool for my success. I have heard for years that diet comprises 80% of our weight loss success. I have also heard, repeatedly, ‘abs are made in the kitchen.’ So…a huge part of my plan centers around food.
I spend about six hours every weekend preparing my food for the week. This involves shopping as well. I shop at Costco, Sam’s, Wal-Mart, and King Soopers. I also spend about 45 minutes a day doing some sort of meal prep, whether that is preparing a coleslaw, cooking up a batch of custards, packaging up food in portion sized containers, packing my lunch or cleaning up my mess. It is a lot of work. It was much easier a year ago when I ate Lean Cuisines and other pre-packaged diet foods. But what has become helpful has been routine and repetition. Several of the foods that I eat, I eat often and I make all the time. I have gotten the prep for these items down to a science. I will be sharing some of these recipes with you over the next several months. I will also share my adventures in creating new recipes with you. Some of them are really good, but sometimes we have food disasters. It’ll be fun…really ;).
So, this is an introduction to my nutrition. I do have a disclaimer to add here. While I eat clean most of the time I regularly commit a couple of clean eating ‘sins’. First of all, I use Splenda. I know, right? Sorry. I know it is probably bad for me, but obesity was worse. So I cook with Splenda and I use it in my coffee. Some of the recipes I will share use it. Feel free to use something else, such as agave nectar or honey or Stevia or whatever. It’s my blog and I’ll sweeten it the way I want to. I also use supplements and probably drink too much coffee. I will share some of these things with you as well.
Oh, and I will also tell you one more thing. The diet (yes, I know it is a dirty word) that I am on has been created for me by my trainer, Nik Zaharis. It is proprietary so there are only so many of the specifics that I can share. He is great and I am sure he would write one up for you as well. He balances out my meal plan with my workout schedule so it is uniquely designed for me. But I can share general things. And I can be more specific about recipes and real menus.
On that note, it is time for me to eat lunch. Bon Appétit!
”Please sir, I want some more.” from Dickens’ Oliver Twist. I can hear the music now…Food! Glorious food! from the musical version, Oliver. But the biggest challenge in losing weight or preparing for a competition is nutrition. I wish it wasn’t. I would much rather live in the fantasy that I can do a few hours a week in the gym and then eat whatever I want. The truth is, most of our fitness issues are nutritionally related. This is not to say that American’s shouldn’t get exercise, but the excuse of…”well, I am overweight because I don’t have time to work out” is pretty lame. Because I love the gym and I love to hike and do active things, I think that some people would attribute my weight loss and fitness to that. It is a big part of my life but honestly my nutrition or diet or meal plan (whatever you want to call it) is the biggest tool for my success. I have heard for years that diet comprises 80% of our weight loss success. I have also heard, repeatedly, ‘abs are made in the kitchen.’ So…a huge part of my plan centers around food.
I spend about six hours every weekend preparing my food for the week. This involves shopping as well. I shop at Costco, Sam’s, Wal-Mart, and King Soopers. I also spend about 45 minutes a day doing some sort of meal prep, whether that is preparing a coleslaw, cooking up a batch of custards, packaging up food in portion sized containers, packing my lunch or cleaning up my mess. It is a lot of work. It was much easier a year ago when I ate Lean Cuisines and other pre-packaged diet foods. But what has become helpful has been routine and repetition. Several of the foods that I eat, I eat often and I make all the time. I have gotten the prep for these items down to a science. I will be sharing some of these recipes with you over the next several months. I will also share my adventures in creating new recipes with you. Some of them are really good, but sometimes we have food disasters. It’ll be fun…really ;).
So, this is an introduction to my nutrition. I do have a disclaimer to add here. While I eat clean most of the time I regularly commit a couple of clean eating ‘sins’. First of all, I use Splenda. I know, right? Sorry. I know it is probably bad for me, but obesity was worse. So I cook with Splenda and I use it in my coffee. Some of the recipes I will share use it. Feel free to use something else, such as agave nectar or honey or Stevia or whatever. It’s my blog and I’ll sweeten it the way I want to. I also use supplements and probably drink too much coffee. I will share some of these things with you as well.
Oh, and I will also tell you one more thing. The diet (yes, I know it is a dirty word) that I am on has been created for me by my trainer, Nik Zaharis. It is proprietary so there are only so many of the specifics that I can share. He is great and I am sure he would write one up for you as well. He balances out my meal plan with my workout schedule so it is uniquely designed for me. But I can share general things. And I can be more specific about recipes and real menus.
On that note, it is time for me to eat lunch. Bon Appétit!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Legs training
Last night was leg training. I am pretty much done in. You know that it was a tough workout when extra-strength Tylenol won't cut it. I probably should have gone to the gym this morning to do tris and lower back but it just wasn't gonna happen ;). The excited news from last night was that I am now able to do an exercise that I have never been able to do before. My old trainer had me try it a few times last year but it was kinda laughable. You sit on the small step...I don't know about 18 inches off the ground...and stand up, using only one leg. It is a killer...especially by the third set. Of course, this was at the end of the one hour workout. I managed all three sets. They weren't pretty and I thought I was gonna die but I did them. My balance is still not great but it is improving. Tonight I will attend Lynnie's killer boot camp. Lynnie is one of the trainers at Gold's. I adore her and will talk more about her at a later time. She calls her boot camp, "Rough, Rugged and Raw." Needless to say, it is one tough workout. Can't wait!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Journey Begins
To tell you the truth, I never expected to be your average grandparent. I certainly never expected to feel as young as I do. True, I love weird old lady things like designing quilts and cooking big family meals but not enough to retire to my rocking chair just yet. Part of my story contains years of obesity and sadness. I was what is medically referred to as morbidly obese, more than 100 pounds overweight. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? And although I wasn’t really active at all, I definitely didn’t see myself as someone that would just quietly dote on grandbabies (although the grandson I have now is certainly dotable) and dole out some sort of aged wisdom. Also, I am not that old…at least not in 21st century terms. I am only 47 but having shed 100 pounds now, I feel better, healthier and stronger than ever before.
So here is the really strange place where I have ended found myself. After a year of shedding weight, doing tons of cardio and working with a wonderful trainer, I found myself at a crossroads. My wonderful trainer left and I was ‘willed’ to another trainer, Nik…an actual body builder. I don’t know that there are two men on the face of this earth as different as my two trainers. So, the style of my weight training changed dramatically and I began the battle of maintaining a pretty rapid and substantial weight loss. If you think losing 100 pounds is difficult, it ain’t nothing compared to keeping it off. So for the last six months, my new trainer has played with my diet. The problem was that I couldn’t seem to set a goal. In my mind, I had reached my goal but my heart wasn’t satisfied with that being the end. I went to a body building show in May. It was interesting but not terribly impactful, ya know? It was a local show and kinda small. I enjoyed it but it wasn’t terribly inspirational.
I continued to train with Nik but really didn’t have any idea where I was going. I love weight training and he is fun in a pain in the ass kinda way. But then something cool happened. We all knew that Nik was training for a show, but he wouldn’t say that he was or what show he was planning on entering. He is weird that way. He finally announced that he was doing the Colorado State show. It was a big show and I definitely wanted to go and see it. Don’t tell anyone, but Nik was pretty inspiring. He worked so hard and although he only placed third in his class (a large and really competitive class) he showed me what it means to set a goal, put your head down and go for it. The morning after his show, I decided that I wanted to train to compete.
That was two weeks ago. The first thing I have learned in this process is that there is sacrifice required for reaching any important goal. First, I had to give up a lot of my cardio. I love cardio. I love hiking and dancing and group ex classes and spin classes. I love boot camps that kick my ass and well, anything that involves movement. Right now I am doing about three hours a week. At one point, I was doing about 15 hours a week (yes, I know that is extreme but like I said…I loved it). Secondly, food prep is quite the time commitment. I spend hours each week preparing food so that I can take a grocery bag full of weird food items to work with me each day. I don’t eat entrees and side dishes and desserts; I eat proteins, carbs, fats and veggies, otherwise known as macros. The food isn’t bad but I cheat because I use Splenda. Other than that, I stick pretty close to Nik’s food plan…weeeelllll, except for the occasional back of 94% fat-free microwave popcorn, but hey, no one is perfect. There is also the sacrifice of energy. When I trained with my first trainer, I trained for 30 minute sessions in the morning. I usually felt great afterwards and recovered by the time I got to work. The sessions I do with Nik are 60 minutes in the evening and by the time I get home I am wrung out, exhausted and sore. Most nights I accomplish very little other than some computer time, reading and soaking in a hot tub, hoping that I will be able to move in the morning. There isn’t a whole lot of time to build friendships and most of the time I just hope that my old friends won’t forget me completely and will understand why I am making the sacrifices that I am.
My family has been absolutely wonderfully supportive. They might roll their eyes every now and then but they seem to understand. This leads me back to my original thought. To Bradon, I am Nana. In October, his baby sister, Rose, will join the family and then in February, Bradon and Rose will get a baby cousin. I will suddenly become Nana to three precious, wonderful children. I will make time to read them stories and sing to them…but better yet, I intend to teach them to dance, play soccer with them at the park, take them hiking in the Rockies and show them what it means to live an active life.
So…this begins my journey. I don’t know how it will end. Some of the sacrifices seem costly but my intent is to not turn back but to push through. I hope you will come back and check in with me. Not every post will be about nutrition and diet and such but I want to record the journey for those who will follow down the road.
Thanks!
Cristi
So here is the really strange place where I have ended found myself. After a year of shedding weight, doing tons of cardio and working with a wonderful trainer, I found myself at a crossroads. My wonderful trainer left and I was ‘willed’ to another trainer, Nik…an actual body builder. I don’t know that there are two men on the face of this earth as different as my two trainers. So, the style of my weight training changed dramatically and I began the battle of maintaining a pretty rapid and substantial weight loss. If you think losing 100 pounds is difficult, it ain’t nothing compared to keeping it off. So for the last six months, my new trainer has played with my diet. The problem was that I couldn’t seem to set a goal. In my mind, I had reached my goal but my heart wasn’t satisfied with that being the end. I went to a body building show in May. It was interesting but not terribly impactful, ya know? It was a local show and kinda small. I enjoyed it but it wasn’t terribly inspirational.
I continued to train with Nik but really didn’t have any idea where I was going. I love weight training and he is fun in a pain in the ass kinda way. But then something cool happened. We all knew that Nik was training for a show, but he wouldn’t say that he was or what show he was planning on entering. He is weird that way. He finally announced that he was doing the Colorado State show. It was a big show and I definitely wanted to go and see it. Don’t tell anyone, but Nik was pretty inspiring. He worked so hard and although he only placed third in his class (a large and really competitive class) he showed me what it means to set a goal, put your head down and go for it. The morning after his show, I decided that I wanted to train to compete.
That was two weeks ago. The first thing I have learned in this process is that there is sacrifice required for reaching any important goal. First, I had to give up a lot of my cardio. I love cardio. I love hiking and dancing and group ex classes and spin classes. I love boot camps that kick my ass and well, anything that involves movement. Right now I am doing about three hours a week. At one point, I was doing about 15 hours a week (yes, I know that is extreme but like I said…I loved it). Secondly, food prep is quite the time commitment. I spend hours each week preparing food so that I can take a grocery bag full of weird food items to work with me each day. I don’t eat entrees and side dishes and desserts; I eat proteins, carbs, fats and veggies, otherwise known as macros. The food isn’t bad but I cheat because I use Splenda. Other than that, I stick pretty close to Nik’s food plan…weeeelllll, except for the occasional back of 94% fat-free microwave popcorn, but hey, no one is perfect. There is also the sacrifice of energy. When I trained with my first trainer, I trained for 30 minute sessions in the morning. I usually felt great afterwards and recovered by the time I got to work. The sessions I do with Nik are 60 minutes in the evening and by the time I get home I am wrung out, exhausted and sore. Most nights I accomplish very little other than some computer time, reading and soaking in a hot tub, hoping that I will be able to move in the morning. There isn’t a whole lot of time to build friendships and most of the time I just hope that my old friends won’t forget me completely and will understand why I am making the sacrifices that I am.
My family has been absolutely wonderfully supportive. They might roll their eyes every now and then but they seem to understand. This leads me back to my original thought. To Bradon, I am Nana. In October, his baby sister, Rose, will join the family and then in February, Bradon and Rose will get a baby cousin. I will suddenly become Nana to three precious, wonderful children. I will make time to read them stories and sing to them…but better yet, I intend to teach them to dance, play soccer with them at the park, take them hiking in the Rockies and show them what it means to live an active life.
So…this begins my journey. I don’t know how it will end. Some of the sacrifices seem costly but my intent is to not turn back but to push through. I hope you will come back and check in with me. Not every post will be about nutrition and diet and such but I want to record the journey for those who will follow down the road.
Thanks!
Cristi
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